Not on a roll

The past couple of weeks have not been going superbly well for me. Despite Mercury retrograde and all signs pointing toward "Just stay home," I did not stay home this weekend. On Saturday I went out with friends, and on Sunday, I went to Dutch to finish my drysuit class.

But let me back up a little. Along with a couple of dive buddies (Sarah and Emily), I did the pool portion of my drysuit class on April 10. We learned about the different kinds of suits, then figured out which of the store rentals worked best for us. The suit that I ended up with felt huge and heavy. It was an orange crushed neoprene DUI suit, the kind with the diagonal zipper in front. In the pool above the dive shop, it's pretty warm, so I just wore sweats underneath. The pool class went okay I guess. The crush of the water around my suit pinched my toes painfully, but I felt like my buoyancy was pretty good when I swam along the bottom. The problem came when we practiced inversions. As part of the class you learn what to do should you accidentally become inverted and have the air in your suit go up into your feet -- you roll out of it, forward or backward. Well let me tell you, I did not have an easy time with the sensation of floating upward by my feet in a 12-foot pool. I guess I was tense, because when I did my roll, I pulled a muscle in the back of my head and neck. I didn't feel it until the next evening. I knew I wasn't completely comfortable in the suit by the end of the class, but I was also exhausted, and I tend to just not feel well after diving in that pool. The same thing would happen when I did my original open water cert classes there. I don't know if it's the chlorine fumes, the heat, or the late hour (it was well after 10 when we got out of the pool), but I always leave that pool feeling nauseous and exhausted. Thank goodness that isn't a problem when I dive in the real world.

The instructor, Pete, suggested I come back to the pool during the week to practice, but my head was hurting really bad and at that point I just wanted to make sure I'd be well enough to do the open water part of the class the following Sunday. I went to the doctor, who gave me a neurological exam and agreed that I had probably just pulled something. She gave me muscle relaxers, which I took, and Percoset, which I didn't. I felt well enough by Saturday that I went down to the dive shop to try on neck seals (mine had leaked a bit in the pool) and hoods. After that I went out with some friends in Brooklyn and even had a few beers.

The next morning I got out bright and early to meet the others at the shop. I got there so early I was able to have a sit-down breakfast at the diner down the street. It was looking like a lovely day. When I got to the shop everyone was already there, including Demian, a guy I met at my nitrox class who was accompanying us for his divemaster training. I felt good and was glad I had decided not to back out. It took us awhile to get on the road, but it was a nice ride. We went over our written tests in the car on the way.

At the park, I was excited to finally get my season pass and get in the water, even if it was going to be VERY cold. The problems began immediately. My BP/W, which seemed to work fine in the pool, was falling off my left shoulder. It felt wrong, but I was going to make it work, until the instructor commented that it looked bad and made me switch it out for one of the regular BCs he had brought. Seeing as how I was already suited up and in the water, that sucked. It took forever to get my weight belt sorted even before he sent me back to change my BC. My friends were getting cold, so they decided to start their dive while I changed BCs. And then I fell on my face as I was climbing up on shore. The dive hadn't even started and I was already a mess. To make matters worse, I was overweighted.

So Demian and I get back in the water and swim out to the platform to try and meet up with the rest of the class. But they were already done with their dive. Pete swam back out to meet us. He went over the dive plan: swim around platform, then under the platform to the schoolbus, then back to the platform. Despite my funk of earlier, I actually felt pretty good through most of the dive. There was some big fish inside the schoolbus, which made it fun to swim into. I carefully exited through the door and not the "windshield" as I've gotten stuck there before. The dive was nearing its end and we were swimming back to the platform. I was nearly there, I was even beside a line, when I started to ascend. When I realized what was happening, I felt like turning to vent my drysuit would not work fast enough, so I started jerking my arms around in a most unprofessional manner to keep myself from shooting to the surface. Pete told me later that when I started doing that, it was all over. At least I remembered to "Ahhhh" all the way to the surface like you're supposed to, to prevent lung overexpansion.

When I got to the surface I knew I had screwed the pooch on the whole day. I wasn't getting certified. I was really upset, and on top of that I was scared that my rapid ascent had actually put me in danger of injury, which made me hyperventilate a little. The truth is, floating on the surface of that icy lake, feeling frustrated and all alone, I pitched the fit of fits. I screamed, I cried, I punched the buoy. I had no idea that anyone else could hear the ruckus I was making until a guy on the lifeguard stand got in a boat and started rowing toward me. Then I saw all the people standing on shore looking at me. I was mortified. I wanted to slip under the water and die. I thought, that's it -- not only am I not getting drysuit certified, they're going to take my open water certification too, and my Dutch Springs season pass. And all my fellow Sea Gypsies are not going to want to dive with me, the crazy girl. When the guy in the boat got to me I told him I was fine, and he seemed sympathetic. He rowed back as Pete and Demian surfaced. We all swam back to shore. I didn't know how I was going to show my face. It was bad enough that I screwed up my ascent, why did I have to embarrass myself further by pitching a fit like that? Because I thought no one would hear me out there in the middle of the lake, that's why! Well, now I know better -- if you scream enough in the middle of Dutch Springs, especially on a not-very-busy day, everyone in the park can hear you. Mortifying.

So by that point my morale was in the toilet. Everyone was so nice about it though, even Suzanne and Renata who had been standing on shore watching the whole thing. And what about Demian, who had never seen me dive before? Ugh, I wanted to crawl in a hole. Pete said we'd try to fit an extra dive in, but at that point I was not feeling it and had really given up. I still don't trust the exhaust vent on the drysuit to vent fast enough to prevent me from ascending too fast. Why didn't I hold on to that line? Why did I have to be a big shot? Dr. Mike consoled me with a huge hot chocolate. Emily brought out some amazing muffins and bread she had made. That helped a little. But it sucked knowing I wasn't getting certified that day.

The second dive went better -- sort of. We dove the wreck of a plane I've never seen there before. The plane itself was pretty awesome. But then my weight belt came undone and started falling off. The same damn thing happened in the pool! I guess it's time to buy another weight belt for myself (I have one that lives at the aquarium). It took a bit of work to get it back on, but I managed it. I even managed to pass the part of the class that involves disconnecting and reconnecting my drysuit hose. As we started to swim back up, I didn't see my exhaust vent working and started to freak out that I'd have another uncontrolled ascent. Right when I thought I was okay, Demian grabbed me by the shoulders and suddenly the two of us were floating face-to-face. At first I thought he saw/heard me freaking out or saw me going up too fast. It took a whole minute to realize that he was breathing off my octo. We swam together to the school bus where Demian got Pete's attention. This is officially the most fucked-up day of diving I've ever had, I thought. I've never had anyone have to grab my octo before. I've heard that often people are more likely to grab the first air source they see, which might be the one in your mouth. In that case I'd really hope my octo wasn't floating somewhere out of its holder, which happens often. That's another reason to get a reg necklace like the pros use!

But anyway. Demian ended up being able to go back to his reg, I think, or he switched to Pete's -- I can't remember. The problem was that his reg had been free-flowing. I managed to surface properly, at least I managed my 3-minute safety stop. Ended the dive with 300 psi. When the dive was over, we still had to demonstrate that we could remove and re-don our BCs and weight belts. That was very difficult, especially in a BC I wasn't familiar with that had a cummerbund that I forgot about. It didn't matter anyway, I wasn't getting certified that day no matter what I did.

Ultimately I'm glad I went even if my day seemed cursed. It's always best to discover equipment problems in a place like Dutch than out in the ocean, where conditions can be me much more unpredictable. I don't feel comfortable in a drysuit and wouldn't have had much respect for an instructor willing to certify me in that state. Pete has offered me a free pool session next week, and I'm taking him up on it, even if it will be the same drysuit (which wasn't the best-fitting thing) and the same pool that I don't enjoy diving in. I need the practice. If I learned one thing about drysuits from this experience so far, it's that being comfortable with one's equipment is of the utmost importance, and rental equipment often won't fit properly. Ironic, since my main reason for getting a drysuit cert was that it would help me rent drysuits until I'm ready to buy one! Oh well. I plan to go back to Dutch for the drysuit demo days coming up. It will allow me to try out different suits, and for cheaper than it costs to rent them from Pan Aqua.